Do you ever get this feeling that time is running out? And you need to get the most of it while you can? Yet, there is just so much to be done. And to add to that, life happens. Unexpected things happen regularly. Even the best of plans have holes.
When you don't accomplish the little to big goals you set out for yourself in that invisible or sometimes even a concrete time period you have set out for yourself, there is a big sense of failure.
Like you have failed in some ways.
It then becomes easier to be hard on yourself.
How did I not get this simple thing? I suck. I am horrible, terrible. I have failed. I cannot amount up to anything. I am a failure. There is no point in me trying anymore, because everything I do, sucks or fails anyway.
Do you notice the language that has been used? Pay attention to what goes on inside of you when you think you have 'failed' to attain a goal.
In this case, there is a lot of labeling that’s happening. Labeling the self as horrible, terrible, and failure.
Labeling is about using one specific or limited situation to create a judgement about the self and others.
The thought pattern also has includes catastrophizing perceived failure. Catastrophizing is about jumping to the worst conclusion, while repeating the thought over and over again. In this situation, this tendency is also hinting at a perfectionist way of thinking as if they are an internal rulebook to abide by. A rulebook where there is a black and white label of thinking. Either you do well and succeed, or you fail at a task and be viewed as a failure.
There is no room for something in between. Being human is that in-between stage.
Being human means failing, having to pick yourself back again, getting it wrong, getting it right, learning and facing both the expected and the unexpected.
Reflective Questions
What goes on in your head when you fail?
What does being human mean to you?
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