Following your Feelings

While I was a novice Personal development coach, I used to often put emphasis on honouring our feelings. For example, if visiting a social event gives you a lot of dread and you simply do not feel good about it, I thought there was no point in following through with the action. If you don't feel good about it, then don't do it I'd say.

Through more years of my continued practice of a healthier inner relationship, I was able to challenge my limiting beliefs to learn that not attending an event because you don't feel good about it can sometimes be a form of self-compassion, and sometimes detrimental to our wellbeing.

Feelings are complex with there being a lot more to them than what meets the eye. When feelings are intense, it is seldom just one emotion that is involved. You could dread something yet anticipate it a little bit too. Often one emotion can cloud a different emotion. Yet, by only focusing on one emotion, we can lose track of other emotions.

It is hard to know how you really feel, especially when you are not used to checking in with yourself. And when there are internal fears and external stressors. In a complex ball of feelings, there can be multiple answers, but the answer you choose needs to be the one that is most true to who you are.

True to where your values lie.

True to the person you want to become.

True to your innermost being.

Many times actions come first, then feelings follow. Yet, we rely on our feelings to be our guide. They can sometimes be our guides and sometimes they need guidance too. All these things are subjective.

Let's say you wanted to feel like exercising before you began exercising, you could be waiting a long time before creating an inconsistent routine (unless you were injured and were waiting to physically feel good to exercise!). On the other hand, if you exercised even if you didn't feel like exercising, you gain good feelings along the way.

It does require a lot of discipline to do something we don't feel like doing (even if it is good for us). However, it is not just discipline.....

It is about honouring yourself.

By honouring yourself, you sometimes do things you don't feel like doing a the moment because it is beneficial to you in some ways. You do it because it is good for you and you want what is good for you. You start to become your own motivation life coach by cheering on things that benefit you in the long term (and sometimes even short term). In contrast, you sometimes don't end up doing something because you don't feel like it because you are your own empowerment coach too. And empowering yourself is a lot about honoring yourself.

So the question to ask yourself in the moment is: am I honouring myself by choosing to follow how I am feeling at the moment, or by not choosing to follow how I am feeling right now?

Only you know what is going on inside of you. Trying to be curious about your own world is a great place to start.

Reflective Questions

How do you honour yourself?

What is something you would like to do even if you don't feel like it because it is good for you?